when things still don't work {and frozen dark cherry pops}

She had tagged me in the picture and said, "I tried robyn, I tried" 

Proudly finding the recipe all on her own, it was supposed to be several layers high but instead looked like a single flat layer covered in a shiny chocolate frosting. After being tagged in the picture I commented that I thought it looked delicious and adorable but my dear friend labored the day away with very different expectations. "I give up," she laughed, "I'll leave the cake baking to you."*  

We have all been there.

And I'm not talking moments of small stupidity that make for a great story later, like forgetting to put the blender lid on while making a smoothie, I am talking oh my gosh I've worked so stinking hard for this and IT. STILL. DIDN'T. WORK. type of moment. 

My husband and I have been going through something like this lately. Although it's felt less like a failed cake and more like a snippet of an old fashioned movie reel on repeat playing all of the hard work time after time again with no ending. Hamster on a wheel status. He has been diligently assisting some colleagues with their start up company, but he doesn't have much control over it (it's complicated) and we've decided it's best to move on. It's tough though. It's tough when you've worked really hard for something and the results don't quite pan out how you'd planned.

In the past, I worked with a company diligently for over 4 years with the hopes of a raise and promotion, and while the promises were always given, they never delivered. 

Years. of. my. life. people. Years.

Tears and HUGE feelings of self depreciation and worth, and I decided to walk away from the company head held high, knowing that something else was in store for me.

It just wasn't here. 

Why is it that we work so hard for something yet the results are so different from what we'd hoped?

I don't know.

But I do know, that there is a lot of goodness to be had in every frustrating moment we endure. There is strength in walking away, admitting failure and trying something else. 

Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.
— Truman Capote

Even though 4 years had gone by at this company with no promotion to show for it, my friendship pool was booming. I'd met some of my favorite people in the world through that job and that alone, is something I will never regret. 

My husband and I have dedicated a large portion of our lives and time to this one endeavor too. While it felt like we were walking through the dark a lot of the time we've seen a lot of light too, and yes there have been arguments and crying sessions, but we've ultimately walked away with an incredible experience. 

And a lot of love. 

So it is my hope for you that you hold true to the terribly disappointing crap life throws at you and dance among the dung. I know. So stinky. But we have the opportunity to surprise life like that - to turn an incredibly disappointing experience into something good by choosing to see the good in it.

Love to you my friend. xo 

*I feel it important to note I sent my friend a fool-proof egg free cake recipe after her mishap. Love you friend. ;)

ps. Thank you to all of you for your love and encouraging words on my last post about my brother's sobriety. I am feeling all of your love and I am so grateful for you. Thank you for making this a safe place. 

Frozen Dark Cherry Pops with Goat Cheese and Cinnamon

adapted from coco cake land  18-24 little pops (roughly) 

I thought this recipe appropriate for the surprise tartness the goat cheese gives these cherry pops. Kind of a small nod to turning your bad surprises into good ones. Er, not that goat cheese is bad, it's just unexpected. Yeah? This pop is also like summer marrying fall: I love the warmth of the cinnamon with the tartness of the goat cheese and sweetness of the cherries. It's like you take a lick and you're like, wait what is that that makes these so good? And you can proudly say "goat cheese" and they'll be like whaaaa? Plus they're adorably small. I can't find a single reason you shouldn't make these. Eat one, and love on your life.  

Bakers note: If you have super crazy tart cherries you may want to add a teaspoon or two of honey. 

If you're interested in purchasing little pop molds you can find them at amazon

ingredients

1 lb / 455g cherries, fresh (not frozen) washed and pitted
1 cup / 236ml milk
½ cup / 115g goat cheese
½ cup / 118ml sweetened condensed milk
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1 pinch of salt

Blend all of the ingredients together using an blender or food processor. 

Pour mixture into a spouted liquid measuring cup for ease. 

Using the spouted measuring cup, carefully pour the popsicle mixture into your popsicle mold.

Freeze for a minimum of 6 hours or overnight until firm.

Remove pops from mold. If you're using the mold I used they don't need any warm water run underneath. They simply pop out with the most satisfyingly fun sound. If you're using a different mold, run the popsicles under very warm water for 15-20 seconds to dislodge.