a loaded question {and messy eggs, aka how to cook a stellar meal without a recipe}

it was a completely loaded question, but i had to ask it. 

"what's one thing you think i really need to work on?" i asked my husband.

he looked at me like "uh, what?"

while he was "thinking" my mind drifted back to this story i heard recently. 

i listened to this retold on a podcast somewhere - it was an experiment done in the 1950's (which i feel explains a lot) where a group of wives were asked to go home to their husbands and ask them what 6 things they felt they needed to work on. 

i know, listening to this made me squint a little when i was listening to it, but i had to listen on. 

so this one wife asks her husband and handing him a piece of paper said, "please write down 6 things you think i need to work on." 

the husband took the paper, a little baffled and then the next day, sent his wife a bouquet of a dozen red roses with a note in it that read  "i love you and i am grateful you are my wife. you are perfect, just as you are." 

the wife was so touched and surprised by this kind gesture from her husband that the word quickly spread that her husband not only sent her flowers, but didn't think that a thing needed to be changed about her. she knew this wasn't true, she knew she wasn't perfect, maybe 100 things felt she needed to work on, but this was exactly what she needed to hear. 

i shook my head from my thoughts and quickly told john,

"it's totally a loaded question, you don't have to answer it. i feel like this is something unhappy people would ask or something." 

john laughed and said, "it IS, it's completely a loaded question, but i love that about you. you're not afraid to talk about crazy stuff.... and i know what i want to say: first of all you're perfect, and i wish you could see that, so the thing i wish you would change - pause -  i wish you would quit being so hard on yourself." 

it felt like he was handing me a dozen roses. 

please don't vomit.

now i don't say this to make you hate me or to think in any way my husband and i have it all figured out and never fight or disagree or that indeed I am perfect! (huge NO emoji 🙅)

i say this because i do think we women are too hard on ourselves sometimes.

so this is me telling you that you don't need to be that way.

when's the last time you complimented yourself? or celebrated something you recently accomplished instead of looking at everything you didn't get done? 

maybe you don't need to hear this. 

maybe you're super good at complimenting yourself and you think you're awesome, and i applaud that, but i can tell you, that this girl right here, probably beats herself up more than she praises herself. 

we don't treat anyone we love that way - we don't tell them what they're doing wrong! we praise + cheer them on and LOVE on them. don't we?

so here's my loaded question for you: if i so readily do this with people i love, why is it i don't do that with myself?

i think it's about time to start. 

ps. one of my beautiful new friends Nadeena shared this short video with me recently and i had to share it with you: what happens when people realize how their loved ones rate them. 

whatever you do, be gentle with yourself. you don’t just live in this world or your home or your skin, you also live in someone’s eyes.
— Sanober Khan

seeing as today's post is on september 11th, i just want to say, i will never forget. 

messy eggs 

here's the beauty of this recipe. there is no recipe! :D

don't run away. 

i so often hear people i love say "i can't cook" because they either don't know how or don't make the time. i get it. i get all of it. i get not wanting to cook because you don't feel good enough or because life's too cray. 

but there's always eggs. eggs are the breakfast / lunch / dinner option and they save us from our doubts and make us feel like a boss. so, this recipe, is a reminder that you need to not be so hard on yourself. ;) you can master this real easy, feed yourself an amazing meal and feel so awesome too. it's like a compliment in egg form. 

note: i adore this meal and make it often. it's nostalgic because my dad made it up for us when we were kids and it is by far one of his masterpieces.... and he still makes it for us on the rare occasion we're over at my parents house for breakfast. i stayed pretty true to the method of it, but i jazzed it up with Sara's amazing pepper goat cheese sauce and spinach because i'm an adult. ;) 

here's what you need: 

tortillas (corn or flour)

butter / coconut oil / olive oil / ghee 

eggs (preferably organic) 

fresh baby spinach  

lemon 

olive oil to drizzle (optional) 

salt 

optional toppings:

Sara's roasted jalapeño goat cheese sauce (recipe below) / salsa / cheese / black beans / sour cream / avocado / cilantro / hot sauce 

suggested ratios: 

1 tortilla + 1 egg + about 1 tablespoon-ish butter / oil per person. 

method:

rip up the tortillas into pieces (big or small). 

throw some butter (or fat of your choosing) into a skillet and heat on medium low heat. when the butter is melted, throw in your tortilla pieces. coat them with the butter and turn over and cook until the edges turn golden brown, about 5-8 minutes. 

now you can do one of two things with it from this point: 

ONE: you can crack the eggs into the browned tortillas and fold until the eggs are barely cooked making a tortilla - mess - and - egg - scramble - OR  TWO: you can remove the tortilla pieces, set those aside, and fry a couple of eggs placing the cooked egg on top of the tortilla bits. 

either way, place the egg + tortilla goodness a top a bed of fresh spinach drizzled with a touch of olive oil, squeeze of lemon + salt and other toppings of your choice. i chose roasted jalepeño goat cheese sauce + avocado. 

the original messy eggs

the original messy eggs

roasted jalapeño and goat cheese sauce

adapted from Sara Forte of Sprouted Kitchen's new cookbook, Bowl and Spoon

Sara is one of the most kind-hearted, beautiful + brilliant people and i'm envious of those who get to call her a close friend. i also really love her food and because this sauce is so easy and pairs well with so many things, it's basically a staple in my house.   

*please note that I adjusted the recipe by swapping the originally called for pasilla peppers for 4 jalapeños, simply because jalapeños were what I had on hand. In changing the peppers, I also changed the title of sara's recipe.

tip: i de-seeded the jalapeños making it for a mild sauce, but add some seeds or cayenne if you want more heat. 

ingredients

1 small shallot, peeled and roughly chopped
4 jalapeño peppers, split and seeds removed
⅓ cup / 78ml extra-virgin olive oil
⅓ cup / 53g toasted pepitas (pumpkin seeds)
4 ounces / 113g soft goat cheese (chèvre)
1 teaspoon honey
½ teaspoon chili powder
¼ teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 lemon, juiced
2 tablespoons red wine vinegar (I had white wine vinegar on hand and it worked beautifully)
¼ cup / 59ml water
1 cup / 40g cilantro, coarsely chopped
1 teaspoon sea salt
½ teaspoon freshly ground pepper

preheat the broiler. rub the jalapeños and shallot pieces with a drizzle of olive oil. place them on a parchment lined baking sheet and broil them for 12 to 15 minutes until blistered and limp. let them cool. Sara suggests rubbing off the skin of the peppers, but i didn't care to do that (you guys i can be SO LAZY in the kitchen) so whatever you do, rest assured that both methods work, in my opinion. 

in a food processor, combine the shallot and the jalapeños, the remaining olive oil, goat cheese, honey, chili powder, cayenne, lemon juice, and vinegar and process until combined. add the water, cilantro, salt, and pepper and give it another pulse until combined. taste for salt and pepper or maybe a little more heat. store in a sealed container for up to a week.