We're going through sleep regression right now. Which means my sweet, happy babe who used to sleep for 6-8 hour stretches is now waking up every hour at a certain point in the night, screaming. It kills me on many levels.
You know that scene in Elf where Emily asks, "So Buddy, how'd you sleep?" And he says, "Great! I got a full 40 minutes!" Hashtag, SO MY LIFE RIGHT NOW.
I keep thinking, this no sleep thing is going to get easier. Kinda like a cold water plunge - Like that I'll get used to it, just keep swimming. But I'm so not used to it yet. Mothers out there do you ever get used to it?
It's weird because I miss my life and what it was like before this little guy entered it, but I wouldn't trade it or go back for anything. Even sleep.
Motherhood has taught me to guard my time; say no if you really mean no, be braver, eat more chocolate (hence this sauce) and try harder to film and photograph every day moments - because every sound (right now Myles can make sounds like a dolphin and it's fantastic), and smile and giggle and wiggle melts me and I must record it. It's taught me that life is precious and it goes by too fast. It's taught me to love more and love harder.
Motherhood somehow, even though I struggle to know what day it is and remember the last time I've eaten, has somehow helped me find more of myself than I ever thought was possible.
It's inspired me to make new goals and to take better care of myself, because it's not just about me anymore.
I read this quote once that went something like "don't ever apologize for doing something that makes you feel better about yourself, because if you're a happier person you're going to be a better mom."
Sometimes I feel bad for finishing my mascara on one eye instead of rushing to my baby when he cries, but then I remember, I need this eye to have mascara on it so I feel better, and if I feel better, I'm a better mom. This can apply to us as women in every regard. We're nurturing creatures, and I think it's important that we take the time to do what makes us happy so we can get out there and give more.
We also need lots of chocolate and ice cream.
Am I rambling now? I'm sorry, I really haven't had much sleep lately.
Now here's a list of "What I wish I could make this weekend but probably wont because #newmomlife"; aka links from some bloggers I simply LOVE.
What I wish I could make this weekend:
This Myer Lemon Cheesecake with a chocolate bottom from Kate. Ps. if you haven't heard about Kate yet, she's amazing. (No words, only heart eyes.)
This Brussels Slaw from Sara. I feel like I could eat this for days and never tire of it.... especially if I added bacon.
This Greens and Beans Soup from Sherrie. I really need to eat something else besides mac and cheese or toast for dinner.
I have a problem with loving rice pudding too much, and since I can't stop thinking about Amanda's Vanilla Rice Pudding with Cherries , it's just confirming my problem.
I've made spaghetti squash once and it was a horrifying experience. But this recipe from Laura has me reconsidering my distain because her Stuffed Spaghetti Squash with Garlicky Arugula Cream sounds amaze.
More to come. Happy weekend my friends. xo
bittersweet chocolate sauce
adapted from jenis
makes 2-ish cups
This is the sauce we had for my birthday dessert - peppermint sundaes. We've made it several times since. It also makes for a smashing cup of hot cocoa, when you add several table spoons of the sauce to some warm milk (almond milk is fantastic too!) and stir.
bakers note: This sauce is referred to as fudge-sauce in Jeni's cookbook, but to me, it's much more of a syrup-sauce. It can be a little on the thin side, so I reduced the water from 1 cup to 1/2 cup to thicken it up a bit. This sauce also solidifies once it hits the cold ice cream, which makes for a fun contrast of textures: the chewy with the smooth and creamy.
1/2 to 3/4s cup water (up to 1 cup of water if you want really thin sauce)
1/3 cup sugar
1/3 cup light, organic corn syrup
1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa (the best quality you can afford)
1 teaspoon vanilla
3 ounces unsweetened chocolate, finely chopped (the best quality you can afford)
5 ounces of bittersweet chocolate, finely chopped (the best quality you can afford)
Over a medium heat, bring water, sugar and corn syrup to a boil until sugar dissolves, stirring slightly. Remove mixture from heat, and slowly whisk in the cocoa powder until combined. Next whisk in the chopped chocolate and vanilla extract, whisking together until combined and smooth. Serve sauce warm over peppermint ice cream, or any ice cream you choose.
Store sauce in an air-tight container for up to two weeks in the fridge.
why is this good for me?
peppermint - improves digestion and stress and helps with nausea and reduces congestion and coughs. Although I'm not sure how much of the peppermint in peppermint ice cream helps with that, but I always feel calmer after eating the stuff. Maybe it's in my head - but I feel like there's a reason we serve peppermint ice cream around the holidays. ;)
bittersweet chocolate - bittersweet chocolate is chocolate that has a 70% cocoa content or higher. Raw cocoa is really the stuff that helps us the most - as it's chocolate in it's purest form, but I can't help but think that dark chocolate helps us in some way too. Chocolate is supposed to help us fight stress by combating our free radicals (aka our stress) with it's antioxidant properties. It's also a mood booster. I crave it lots right now and definitely feel it's effects. It also contains a small portion of caffinee.... which may just explain everything right there.