Have you seen that Taylor Swift GIF of her making an "L" shape on her forehead and rolling her eyes? Yes?
You mean your brother doesn't text this GIF to you on the daily just as a little encouragement to say, "Hey, you're awesome?" (Eye roll emoji.)
That T-swift GIF has been my mood lately. I know, I know. I'm still focusing on being positive but I keep playing the comparison game thinking everyone else in this field of food blogging is wayyyy better than I am and I feel a little stuck. I guess I feel stuck in a couple of ways. I'm incredibly tired. Sleep training had to be put on hold because we needed to increase Myles' feedings - because my child, for the record, has the metabolism of a humming bird and the stamina of a baby cheetah - in other words, has a hard time packing on the pounds. This increased feedings business meant that we (me) had to continue to feed on demand throughout the night if he wanted to eat instead of sleep; doctor's orders.
Can I just pause real quick and woman to woman tell you how much hearing that sucked? First of all it made me feel like I wasn't feeding my child enough and second, just when I was starting to see light at the end of this dark, sleep deprived tunnel (aka Myles just started sleeping 8 hour stretches right before this doctors visit) the light disappeared.
I'm so incredibly happy, I adore being a mother, but I'm also dying, lol. I probably average 4-5 hours of sleep a night because I can't seem to quiet my body down. I keep panicking that he'll wake up any minute and worrying about things I probably shouldn't be worrying about.
And Myles doesn't like napping.... and because he doesn't like napping I find myself trying to go on with some sort of routine while trying to entertain and keep watch of an 8 month old who is quicker and more curious than I ever remember a kid being. (see note about stamina of a cheetah above). It's a privilege to stay home with him, but it's also REALLY HARD.
Plus being a mom comes with lots of unsolicited advice you know? And maybe mini judgements? Mom's I've met have sweetly hinted that maybe I wasn't feeding Myles enough because he's a little on the long and slender side - and when I get these reactions I feel the need to justify my mothering: "Yes, I've pumped all day, tracked his ounces religiously and I make more milk than this kid will drink. I've even gotten the fat content of my milk tested. TMI? Yes, I feed him solids 5-6 times a day. Yes, he eats almost everything! Yes, he poops and pees like a man. Etc. etc. "
Oh motherhood. There's a lot of assumptions. And comparisons.
Instagram can fuel an unproductive comparison game too you know? The number of followers, the likes, the feeds. It's like a public display of coolness and this may be the sleep deprivation talking but, I don't feel cool enough. Is that even okay to admit?
I mean, we're not supposed to talk about that stuff on here right?
Anyway, I've found that when I'm in need of some boosting or reevaluating, I turn away from my screen and turn to books. Books and prayer to rekindle my hustle.
Have you read the book Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert? I've read it like 5 times so far and there's this one quote that always sticks with me whenever I feel discouraged and not "good enough". This can apply to motherhood as well as creating / writing / taking pictures / recipe developing - anything YOU do:
Speaking of creating, THESE CUPCAKE MUFFINS are something you should most-def make. They're from Izy Hossack's new cookbook, The Savvy Cook and I cannot tell you what a gem the book is. If you've been wanting to get into menu planing and meal prepping, and learning how to make things gluten-free and dairy-free or just bask in all approachable delicious things, this cookbook is for YOU.
I've been a fan of Izy's beautiful work forever and she was generous enough to give me an advanced copy of her new cookbook and guess what?! I want to GIVE ONE TO YOU TOO!!!
Comment below telling me what you love to create - I love to create so many things, so feel free to spill. You're in good company.
Congrats Izy! The book is beeeautiful and so full of good ideas.
Winner will be chosen at random from the comments on Friday, June 9th and notified by email. Contest open to US residents only.
Hey! Thanks for being my friend and listening to me talk about stuff. OkayIloveyoubye! xo
One Bowl, Gluten Free Chocolate Chunk Cupcakes
Makes 12 normal sized cupcakes/muffins or one 9 inch cake round
Everyone loved these. Me, Myles, John. Myles was especially enthusiastic about the whipped cream on top and did a little happy dance after I fed him pinches of the cake. These are so good too, that no one would even guess they're gluten-free.
bakers notes: If you can, invest in a really high quality dark chocolate bar here as it really makes all the difference. The slivers and chunks provide such a beautiful variety in the cupcake - you get a melty big chunk here and a hint of chocolate there - that it's just worth it to splurge. I used a dark bar valrhona chocolate.
¾ cup + 1 tablespoon / 80g oat flour (plus extra for dusting, if you’re making this into a cake instead of cupcakes)
¾ cup + 2 tablespoons / 80g almond meal / almond flour
⅓ cup / 80g firmly packed brown sugar / muscovado sugar
¼ teaspoon sea salt
½ teaspoon baking powder
1 large egg
¼ cup / 60ml milk or non-dairy milk (I used full fat cow milk, but don’t worry, any kind of milk will do)
½ teaspoon almond extract
½ teaspoon vanilla extract
3 ½ ounces / 100g bar of dark chocolate (70% cocoa content), chopped
¾ cup / 100g fresh raspberries (frozen will do too!)
Preheat oven to 350° F / 180° C.
Line a muffin pan with cupcake liners or if you’d rather make this into a cake, grease a 9” cake pan with butter or coconut oil and dust with oat flour to ensure the cake won’t stick. If you plan on making these into cupcake muffins like I did, I strongly encourage the use of cupcake liners as the crumb of this cake is quite delicate.
Whisk all dry ingredients together in a medium sized bowl. Then forming a well in the middle of your dry ingredients, add your melted butter, milk and egg and whisk until combined. Add your almond and vanilla extract. Gently fold in your fresh raspberries and chopped chocolate at the same time, until evenly distributed.
Fill cupcake liners generously using up all the batter or if baking in a 9” cake tin, spread the batter out evenly. (I got 12 cupcakes out of it, using a regular sized muffin tin.)
For both the cupcakes and the cake: Bake for about 25-30 minutes. Cupcakes should be slightly golden brown on top and spring back when you press them slightly.
If you plan on swirling whipped cream on top like I did, cupcakes must be completely cool before topping with the cream.
This cake is delicious warm just as is, (especially for breakfast) but the whipped cream definitely makes it something special.
For the whipped cream: In an electric mixer, with the whisk attachment, whip 1 ½ cups whipping cream with 1 or 2 tablespoons powdered sugar (just depends on how sweet you'd like your cream) and ½ of a vanilla bean or 1 teaspoon vanilla extract or vanilla paste. Whip until stiff peaks form and scoop into a pipping bag. Swirl on top of cooled cupcakes and top with each with a fresh raspberry.