One of my best friends is knee deep in newborn life right now and she shares her happenings with me and another best through text messages.
CRYING. DIAPERS. POOP. SPIT UP. BREAST MILK.
WILL I EVER EAT A HOT MEAL AGAIN?
WILL I EVER SLEEP AGAIN?
WHAT IS THIS LIFE?
THIS IS AMAZING.
THIS IS SO HARD.
BUT SERIOUSLY, WILL I EVER SLEEP AGAIN?
My other mom-friend and I usually type furiously answering her questions in a rush, reassuring her it all gets better and it’s totally okay to cry and curse and also LOVE and hate it all at the same time.
Participating in this chatter has me thinking ahead to December when this baby girl will get here. (I also just realized I never officially announced my 2nd pregnancy on this space!! Whoops!! If you didn't know already / don't follow along on my instagram, SURPRISE! haha!)
I have to say even though it’s my second child I have never felt more unprepared for anything in my life. With my first baby boy (born less than 2 years ago!), I “nested” as much as I possibly could and felt so much support as I was moving out of state right around the same time he was born. That was hard. Those changes were overwhelming, but somehow I felt more with-it then than right now.
With baby number two - I feel a little more alone. It’s like you’re left holding the reins to a horse-drawn carriage that you've seen once in the movies but you’ve never really actually driven it before and how the heck did you end up here anyway by the way? - but people on the sidelines look up at you with encouraging enthusiasm and say, Okay! Drive! Take the reins and go! Assuming you’ve got it.
I so don’t feel like I’ve got it.
(ps Is that the most far-out analogy ever? Thank you. I can’t explain why my brain thinks the way it does.)
I keep reminding myself I am capable. I keep reminding myself this is going to be so much easier now that I "know my way around" - but I worry about managing two littles so close in age at the same time and still being a good mom. (Good mom i.e.: Doesn’t lose her cool everyday, loves her babies and her babies know it, and eats and feeds well. lol)
I read my friends texts and memories of sleepless nights come flooding back to me and I’m so tired already (there are a lot of outside stresses contributing to such exhaustion) I don’t know if I’m ready for this.
Are we really ever ready for great things though?
I’m finding that is one of the key lessons in life - that nothing great comes without great difficulty or really hard work or questioning whether or not you can handle what you’ve set out to do.
I think once we know that, it’s all a little clearer you know? Like it’s okay to think “omg this phase of life is so hard right now” but it’s also incredibly wonderful.
We’re allowed to feel overwhelmed and scared and incredibly grateful and ridiculously happy all at the same time.
There I said it. You’re allowed.
I'm tired of feeling guilty or bad when I admit something is really, really hard and take the time to cry about it. Admitting that and talking about that, doesn't lessen the fact that I am still happy and that life is also wonderful.
Cause I’m pretty sure every phase of life is gonna be wonderful and wonderfully hard - it’s choosing to see the joy in all of it too that’s imperative.
It's like when this same friend sends me a "she's-so-happy-makes-me-want-to-cry-picture of her and her baby girl sleeping on her lap - despite the fact that she hasn't showered or had a hot meal in days. Joy > exhaustion.
Same life principle no matter what you're going through.
A year ago or so when I’d sit there at untimely hours nursing my baby boy fighting my own tears of exhaustion I remember thinking, “There are literally millions of moms who’ve gone through this too. Millions. I am not alone.”
And we're not. You're not.
As Tina Fey once said, “Say yes, figure it out later.”
Isn’t that motherhood - especially newborn motherhood - at it’s finest? Like who the heck knows how to do this sorely underpaid job anyway?
Anyway. I made this peach breakfast for my peach obsessed husband on his birthday. It’s simple, amazing, requires no peeling and can be put together in a matter of 10 minutes.
I’ve tweaked the baking time and suggest the use of salted butter - so it’s perfection now if I do say so myself - easily made vegan with coconut oil instead of butter if you please.
Hope your weekend is full of sleep and these peaches and minimal spit-up. xo
breakfast peaches: aka roasted peaches with crumble
robyn holland | sweetish co | adapted from Huckleberry
bakers notes: I find that this filling can easily fill 10+ peaches, which is 4 more peaches than the original recipe calls for. So, if you need to feed a crowd / want to save the extra filling for another day, do it. I also lowered the original recipe's suggested temperature from 375°F to 350°F, and cut the baking time in half (20-25 mins instead of the suggested 50 min). When I baked the peaches the suggested 50 minutes I was left with a caramelized piping hot peach with filling spilling and bubbling over the sides. It was good, but too sweet and I missed that tiny zing you get from a fresh peach. I think my modifications are worth it, but if the brown, caramelized peach sounds better, go for it. xo
1 cup / 50g rolled oats
½ cup / 50g almond flour
½ cup / 110g brown sugar (dark or light)
½ cup / 60g chopped walnuts, lightly toasted
6 tablespoons / 85g salted butter, cold, cut chunks (you can use unsalted if you want)
3 tablespoons maple syurp
½ teaspoon kosher salt or sea salt (kosher salt will make it a little bit saltier so taste and test if using salted butter before you add the full ½ teaspoon)
8-10 yellow, ripe peaches, halved, pits removed
2 tablespoons salted butter, melted (again, you can use unsalted if you want)
1 tablespoon brown sugar
1 tablespoon granulated sugar
pinch of kosher or sea salt
Preheat oven to 350°F / 180°C.
To make crumble:
Toast walnuts, moving them around a little, for about 3-5 minutes over low-medium heat in a sauce pan (with no oil or anything, just dry) until you smell the nuts. Take care that as soon as you smell them, they’re done, and remove them from the heat, dumping them onto a plate / cutting board as they’ll continue cooking for a bit longer. (Nuts retain heat and can get hot so be careful!)
You can chop the walnuts warm, as finely or as coarsely as you’d like. I chopped mine up pretty finely.
Mix the nuts + all of the crumble ingredients together with your hands smooshing the butter in, and creating a mixture that sticks together, but is still slightly crumbly. This is fun and therapeutic.
In a separate bowl, melt butter and combine sugars and pinch of salt.
Cut and pit peaches, then coat each peach with the melted butter / sugar / salt mixture and place peaches in a 9 x 13 inch / 24 x 34cm pan. (Note that you may need an additional pan if you’re making more than 8 peaches. Pan size also depends on the size of your peaches).
Fill each peach cavity where the peach pit once was as high as you like. I find that about 2 tablespoons of filling per peach is perfect, but you do as you please, please.
Bake peaches for 20-25 minutes or until crumble is toasted and peaches are warmed through.
Enjoy with maple + cinnamon whipped cream or with yogurt or as is.
For maple + cinnamon whipped cream use these ratios:
Add 1 cup cream to 2-3 tablespoons maple syrup + ½ teaspoon cinnamon. Measurements not set in stone, play with it all to see how you like it. Add maple syrup + cinnamon to cream BEFORE you whip it. Whip until you get soft peaks and enjoy.
Filling can be made up to a week ahead of time, kept chilled in the fridge or freezer. If you make the filling ahead of time this breakfast comes together ridiculously fast. Whipped cream is best made right before serving.